Sunday, November 3, 2013

The thing we fear the most: Silence and the presence of God



            One of the things I worry that my children and grandchildren will be most deprived of in this busy world they are entering is silence, especially when it comes to being silent together. Being silent together is a lost art. Every day there are more and more things that fill our lives with background noise, making it harder to think, harder to meditate and harder to discern God’s voice in all the madness.
            You see this with the various screens that we put in front of ourselves: TV screens and computer screens and smart phone screens and tablet screens and many more. The audio and visual noise is comforting, even the vibration of a phone on so-called “silent” mode gives us positive feedback with every text message or Snap Chat. Every month and week and day silence is more elusive.

Young people are so comfortable in front of a screen, in fact, that there’s only one way I’ve found to make that screen a source of discomfort, and that’s when the screen itself is silent. There’s this video in the NOOMA series by Rob Bell called Noise that I love to show to groups whenever I get the chance. Now, if I showed teenagers a ten minute video of people getting their heads cut off, or getting shot by guns, or if it had images of poverty and disease, or gratuitous sex, or countless other things that would give a movie an “R” rating, they would still be relatively comfortable because they expect to see horrible images on the screen, because, in spite of the fact that they are seeing things that would terrify them in person, the screen gives them a measure of comfort and distance. However, this Rob Bell video makes them uncomfortable in a way that the images of gore cannot, because—after an initial couple minutes of background noise and conversation, televisions and radios; music and sounds that you can’t even quite make out—the audio cuts out completely and the following eight minutes are completely silent.
            No audio. Nothing. Instead, words slowly appear on the screen every so often, asking questions like, “Do you have a TV? … More than one TV? … Do you have a radio on all day?” And on and on. Until it comes back around with statements like, “If God sometimes feels distant to us, maybe it's not because he's not talking to us, but simply because we aren't really listening.”
            Here’s what I’ve found when I show this video to youth groups. In the first minute of silence they immediately become idiots—poking one another, searching for their phones that I took away before this little experiment, and generally just misbehaving. They start to giggle and smile awkwardly at me like this is a joke, and it just becomes evident that they cannot handle the silence. They absolutely cannot. The room feels heavy and uncomfortable and none of them want to be there. In fact, one or two of them will get up in the first couple minutes to go to the bathroom and they won’t come back until it’s over. By minutes 2-3 the squirrelly-ness tends to subside, but instead you see a lot of looking at their watches (if they have one) or the clock on the wall. You have kids who start to mouth, “How long is this?”
            And you might think that this is how it is for the entire eight minutes. Our expectation is that we will be uncomfortable as long as silence is kept. In fact, I think if you’d ask people, their first instinct might be that the longer the silence is kept the more the level of discomfort will rise. However, eventually, the exact opposite happens. By five minutes in the giggling and awkward smiles and the fidgeting in their seats will slowly stop. By minute six the young people will inevitably become very still and focused.
            Then, the coolest thing of all happens at the end of the video. When the words stop appearing after eight minutes of silence, the sound briefly returns, and the video winds to a close. Then, it’s often the case that nobody will speak for ten or twenty seconds. Silence, which was once the most uncomfortable thing, becomes exactly the opposite—it becomes their norm—in the span of eight minutes.
            I believe this is profoundly important for us as Christians, because the Christian life is impossible without leaving space for God to meet us, and God tends to meet us in two distinct ways: one is in people who cross our path, who we often ignore because of the many distractions that are taking up our senses, and the other is in the silence, which we fear.
            When God appears to Elijah that day on Mt. Horeb this is not an unusual way for God to make himself known. God loves to come in the silence. As 1 Kings tells us: “There was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence” (vs 11-12). For years and years translators translated those last few words as a “still small voice” because nobody knew what the sound of sheer silence could be, but in the Hebrew that is what it says, “The sound of small, tiny, or sheer silence.” Silence has a weight to it; we can feel it, sensing something of its gravity, and because of that gravity we should hardly be surprised that there is where God meets us—not in wind or earthquakes or fire; not in things that we ironically call “acts of God.”
            Audiences love a bang, but God does not come like a Michael Bay movie. God does not stoop to the lowest level of human excitement—the part of us looking for an explosion—instead God shows up in ways we might not expect and demonstrates again and again how backwards our understanding of power is. Powerful people fear silence more than the powerless, because powerful people have a voice and a stage from which to speak. So, God comes to the powerless in part because they are the only ones ready to hear him. We hear a lot about finding our voices and speaking up for the things we believe in, which is important for making a difference in this world, but when we begin to talk louder and louder not for the love of others but for our own gain we quickly lose the ability to listen, and every time we’re not listening we may be missing the God who comes in that silence. Then, in turn, we fear the silence that has become our enemy.


Not everybody who keeps silence has profound experiences of God—certainly not every time—but that’s not the only goal. We don’t keep silence because we expect God to intervene and make our difficult choices for us. We keep silence as a confession of faith that our voices do not matter compared to the one who spoke creation into being. So even if God never says a word to us in our entire lives, the silence will not have been in vain, because it will be a mark of our desire to place God before ourselves. If we gain any wisdom from keeping silence, all the better, but that's not the goal or the point of it.
The silence that makes us uncomfortable also gives us life. Like most fears it must be experienced in order to be overcome, but unlike some fears it is always near us, always hanging over our heads. You all know the people who have to be talking in order to justify how great they are; the people who we say “like to hear their own voice.” Mostly we know these people because we are that person from time to time. And lest you think you are a good, mild-mannered Lutheran who’s never said a word against anybody, I can assure you that those words still pass through your mind and in that way interrupt your own personal silence. The difference between saying them and keeping them to yourselves is actually very little if they occupy your thoughts either way. This is why we confess every Sunday that we sin in thought, word, and deed, because every stinking week we break the silence where God might be speaking to us with our own banal thoughts and words.
            The miracle on Mt. Horeb wasn’t so much that God spoke in utter silence but instead that Elijah wasn’t so occupied with the fire and earthquakes and terrible winds that he missed it. And that’s the challenge for those of us who live lives enveloped in noise. God may be speaking just as much to us as he was to Elijah and we may have no idea. Meanwhile, our noisy distractions are ratcheting up our own stresses and dependency on the devices that we love. It’s self-perpetuating and destructive—first of conversation, second of community, and third of hearing God.
            So, I have a simple prayer for you this day. May you find the silence you need. May you find the time and space to leave distractions behind. And may God bless you in that time so that, re-entering this world of noise, you may be comforted in knowing God is with you not in the wind or fire or earthquakes but in the silence that is always with you, always threatening to break in to your life. Let it. It’s going to mean a few minutes of discomfort but it is followed by a life-time of greater meaning.

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