So, this morning I’m going to talk
about the two Peter episodes and what that can teach us about being disciples
ourselves. The first is Jesus walking on water. Probably you have some notion
of how this story goes. Jesus walks on water out to the boat where the
disciples are fishing, Peter sees him coming, leaps out of the boat—well, first
he puts clothes on because he was naked, which seems backwards, but
whatever—and then he attempts to walk out to Jesus. The crazy thing is that
he’s doing fine at first. This is a better result than I would have expected,
especially for a guy whose name means “Rock.” That rock was walking on water—at least for a couple steps.
It takes him realizing what was
happening to finally start to sink. I find this story to be absolutely critical
for the life of discipleship, because Peter was doing this amazing, seemingly
impossible thing, until he stepped back to think about what he was doing and
then it all fell apart. Madeleine l’Engle writes in her book Walking on Water about a time, before
the fall, when we all knew how to walk on water, but because of the shroud of
sin that covers us we have long forgotten how to do it. In those few moments,
Peter remembered, only to forget again. And I think the reason he remembered is
because he wasn’t thinking about anything other than his Lord, walking toward
him. In a sense, he was without sin just for those moments, because his every
purpose was directed toward Jesus. Then, when he hesitates even for just an
instant, his thoughts become not about Jesus but about himself. Insecurity creeps
into the picture and he realizes he can’t
walk on water, which is when he starts to sink.
The reality was that he could walk on water, but only when he
put Jesus before himself, and that is an extremely
hard thing to do. In fact, most of the time it’s impossible. Jesus says at one
point, “If you had faith the size of a mustard seed you would be able to move
mountains” (para. Mt 17:20), and this is the kind of faith he was talking
about: the kind of faith that doesn’t think about sinking.
Fast forward to the garden of
Gethsemane and what follows, as Jesus stands before Caiaphas, and Peter is
asked three times about his relation to him. Of course, we already know that
Peter is willing to defend Jesus—he did cut off a slave’s ear after all—but
that was in the spur of the moment. Given no time to think, Peter is loyal;
even if he’s a little confused about what Jesus wants of him. But given the
chance to reflect, concerns flood Peter’s head: What if he does tell them he is a disciple of Jesus? What will that gain
him, really?
The practical side of Peter probably
should deny Jesus; just as the practical Peter should never have gotten out of
the boat. But staying in the boat is nothing to brag about. There is something
about discipleship that requires commitment—it requires leaving behind our nets
and following. And yet, in spite of Peter’s denial, he remains the consummate
disciple, which should give us some pause, because it means discipleship is
unlikely to make us perfect people. It’s unlikely that we’ll follow Jesus all
the time.
Instead, discipleship is learning to
put Jesus before our own insecurities; it’s living a life oriented toward God
and not toward our comfort or the preservation of our lives. It’s not
necessarily hard work as we normally think of it; instead, it’s hard work
because it is dying to ourselves daily. It’s waking up in the morning, looking
into the eyes of other people in the world who drive you crazy and seeing not
the person who you despise but the person created in the image of God; it means
looking at people you can’t stand and seeing Jesus. That’s discipleship. Peter
got it right sometimes and other times not. That’s pretty much all any of us
can hope for. Live for Jesus; not for myself. Then, someday, maybe we’ll
remember how to walk on water.
No comments:
Post a Comment