Cold, rain, pain and redemption, part III (The conclusion)

This is part 3 of 3 of my tale of trying to ride 100 miles in one go. Check out part I here and part II here.

The Monday after

I had a plan. It was brilliant. Yes, I was thwarted by weather and a cold on Saturday but I had this awesome opportunity to just do it again on Monday. I was already planning on riding 30 miles with Steve Peterson, the Assistant to the Bishop in NW Minnesota, and Nate Houge, a church musician and (as it happens) bike enthusiast. What if I just added in 70 miles on my own?

Sounded easy enough. At least it did Saturday when I got home and felt completely recovered from the cold. Things changed Sunday as the chest cold made its triumphant return. Still, I figured it would be gone by Monday morning and I would do it--I had to do it. To leave a goal unreached was absolutely unthinkable.

Solo ride #1

I awoke on Monday morning and I was coughing unproductively, violently and repeatedly. I couldn't believe it. I was better on Saturday only to be worse again two days later. Perhaps the shivering and losing feeling in my extremities two days prior had something to do with? I can't imagine why...

But I was determined to do this so I set out on my own. I needed to leave early enough to get in over 35 miles before riding with Steve and Nate at 10 a.m. so I was on the road before 8. It wasn't as terrible as Saturday, but it also didn't feel particularly good. Clouds overhead were spitting on me and with every deep breath I took in there was just a hint of a wheeze.

It got worse and worse as I rode north. I didn't feel good--not at all. I was miserable on mile 3. I couldn't imagine what mile 100 would feel like.

So, as I trudged onward to the north I came to a set of conclusions that played out in this order:

1. This isn't fun
2. This is supposed to be fun
3. If you're not going to enjoy it, why is the goal so important?
4. The goal is so important because... well... because it's important to me.
5. But if the goal is important only to me then I'm only letting myself down
6. If I'm only letting myself down I can live with that.
And then the most freeing realization of all...
7. None of this really matters compared to a million other things in life.

I mean, it does matter profoundly in some ways. The reason I set goals is to push myself to do better. But this was different. I had pushed myself further than my body could healthily keep up, and I just kept getting more and more miserable because of it. I hadn't let myself heal; I hadn't rested. I realized at about mile 9 that morning how badly I just needed to rest.

Change of plans

So I gave up. Or, better said, I set a new goal. I was going to bike 50 miles this day, enjoy it as much as I could, and then take a nice, long rest. No biking. No running. Just recovering, ridding myself of this incessant cold, and finally getting back to 100%.

But I still had to get home. I decided to get to 10 miles before turning around so I had done 20 in total. This, combined with the 30 mile ride to come, would give me a nice round 50 miles to feel good about. I can't say I enjoyed those last ten miles on the way home. I didn't. But I rode them knowing how much more I would have hated the additional 15 miles I would have had to ride to get to the 35 I originally planned. And in that case I knew I may very well have wrecked the fun in riding with Steve and Nate immediately after.

Even as it was I felt uncertain about riding again. I told Kate to keep her cell phone nearby. My wheezing hadn't really gotten any better.

A nice conclusion

As it turns out, I needn't have worried. The sun came out in the hour between when I got back and set out again. The breeze was refreshing rather than punishing. I felt good. I was enjoying riding a bike for the first time in a week.

Steve, Nate and I cruised up Highway 75 north of Hallock toward Humboldt, east to Orleans and finally south, through moderate crosswinds, toward home where wild rice soup and bread (courtesy of my wonderful wife) were waiting. I should probably write more about that ride, since it was the only enjoyable one I had in this journey, but the truth is that there isn't much to write. It was pleasant. Just a nice day on the bike.

Post-ride photo op (L-R, Steve, myself and Nate)

In fact, after lunch I might have been able to ride another 50 miles. My cough was gone and the wheezing with it. I felt good. I was ready to go.

But I didn't. I didn't need to.

Another time, I thought.