When I find myself deeply pondering an issue, whether in prayer or in silent thought at my desk, I tend to poke holes in both poles of opinion until I find the place where I can faithfully stand. This comes out perhaps most evidently in sermon-form. I tend to find myself pointing out one opinion and then an opposing one before often coming to the conclusion that neither of these work particularly well. This works with most contentious subjects because, well, there's a reason they are contentious. But I'm writing today to make clear that I hope I am cautious with this approach, because lately I have found many people who celebrate simply living in the "grey." They seem to enjoy existing between the black and the white for the sake of not being black or white; not necessarily because they have spent any reasonable amount of time or energy in prayer, meditation, or thought to come to the hypothesis that there is the most faithful place for them to be.
Five-Thirty-Eight recently ran a piece claiming that "Americans Aren't Becoming More Politically Independent, They Just Like Saying They Are" and I think the same is true of many things, especially concerning questions of faith. There are many people in the mainline church who really like the "grey." They really like pointing out the arrogance of standing at the poles, but then they don't offer a serious alternative. Living in the questions sounds great, but most people who successfully live in the questions already have a strong base of history and tradition on which to stand (here I'm thinking about my Jewish friends who participate in the serious practice of midrash). This is a very challenging place to be and to do so absentmindedly is folly. To merely state that a person is free to believe whatever they want is fine, but I'm always going to pay closer attention to the person who has struggled deeply with the questions than the one who has decided on a whim. Those who try to stay in the no man's land between polar sides of an issue are forced out when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, because to truly live in tension is to constantly question--not just the black and the white but also yourself.
Are you in this just to not take a side? Do you really believe anything?
I tend to find that living in that tension only works, especially as a religious person, when those grey areas are resolved with a promise that I believe in strongly. Again, this is why midrash works--it's done by those who are already deeply woven into the faith. I wouldn't recommend people blindly question every side unless you already understand a little of what it is that makes you who you are. This may sound backward, but it is merely to say that you aren't going to find your faith through questioning but questioning may deepen a faith that you already have. (And it leads to a wonderful question of where faith originates, which is well beyond the scope of this post, though I'd point you to Ephesians 2:8 as a starting point)
This is no exhortation to move from the middle ground to a position on one of the poles, and it's no suggestion that we need more out-spoken conservatives or liberals, or true believers of any sort. Rather, it's simply to point out that to say you enjoy living "in the grey" does not mean you are off the hook for careful and thoughtful reflection; in fact, I would say that much more is expected of you. It's one thing to be agnostic; it's another to be an agnostic Christian. The first I find potentially interesting; the second I find lazy.
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