2. Complain about candidacy committees.
3. Mock Systematics faculty for packaging theology in a box.
4. Mock Mission faculty for their language that sounds good but doesn't actually say anything.
5. Mock Biblical faculty for their insistence that seminary students learn archaic languages.
6. Mock Pastoral Care faculty for their naivety to teach something practical.
7. Mock CYF faculty for their exuberance.
8. Mock CML faculty because nobody knows what they teach.
9. Mock Church History faculty behind their backs and quietly because we're actually quite scared of them.
10. Mock Worship faculty for their attempt to teach a nearly unteachable subject.
11. Mock Preaching faculty for trying to preach to us.
12. Snicker about non-Lutheran students for being "ecumenical."
13. Snicker about Lutheran students for not being "ecumenical."
14. Complain about food, housing, cost of living, poor job prospects, a declining church, an old church, the ELCA in general, seminary politics, loans, and toothaches.
15. Refer to their internship experiences... repeatedly.
16. Ask questions that are not really questions but excuses to air their opinions.
17. Make fun of DL students for being out-of-touch.
18. Make fun of students fresh from undergrad for their lack of worldly knowledge.
19. Drink beer.
20. Brew beer.
21. Drink coffee (if beer is unavailable or socially awkward to drink at the current moment)
22. Act as passive-aggressive as humanly possible.
23. Use made-up words or words that are intended to initiate a response akin to: "What does that word mean?" followed by a rehearsed definition and exhortation on the many uses of said word (best if done in a condescending tone).
24. Refer to their internship experiences... repeatedly.
25. Compare their Teaching Parishes with their home parishes, which are invariably heaven-on-earth.
26. One-up one another.
27. Talk up their love of others and then ignore people hurting in their midst.
28. Giggle at people who have miracle experiences.
29. Make jokes whose punchline is "Vision and Expectations."
30. Refer to their internship experiences... repeatedly.
I agree with all of these. Although I am sorry to say that 26 and 27 are even on this list but I guess that what makes us human and sinful creatures. And while I was on Internship...(just kidding, I could not resist. :) )
ReplyDeleteLook, toothaches are a bitch! I learned that on my internship... which was probably better than most. Although it was nowhere near my home congregation. Great list, Frank. So true.
ReplyDeleteSo should I feel left out because no one's bothering to mock Chris Ed faculty? (smile)
ReplyDeleteI've never heard a joke with the punchline "Vision and Expectations." Tell some in your next post.
ReplyDeleteI did hear this one recently: Martin Luther was hanging around outside the pearly gates. How come you're not in there? they asked. Luther shrugged. Turns out it was works.
That's probably old for you all but it's new for this "ecumenical" type. Thanks for the smiles!