The Sad Odyssey of the Discovery Channel

I have long been a fan of the Discovery Channel. I have even written about it before on this blog (as in right here), but I think those days are sadly at an end. It's been a long, slow and tedious fall from grace for the channel that was once about the only thing I would watch on television, and I wonder how it's gotten this far. I guess, as a mid-twenties male, this is one of the first things I will someday look back upon as the good ol' days, wondering all the while why they would leave behind what was so good for what is now so contrived and superficial. But before we get there it behooves me to start at the beginning--when things were good and Survivorman marathons frequent.

It was 2006 when the Discovery Channel and I began our close relationship, and oh, the good times we had! Those were simpler days. There was Cash Cab, a lightning-fast, if slightly dumbed-down, game show that took place in a New York City taxi cab; Deadliest Catch, the fascinating real-life story of crab fishing in the Bering Sea; Dirty Jobs, hosted by the always entertaining Mike Rowe; Man vs Wild, a fun, though definitely contrived and not at all realistic portrayal of survival in the wild; Planet Earth, the series that redefined how "nature" video was shot; Survivorman, which was basically a more realistic and far more interesting version of Man vs Wild; and, of course, Mythbusters, the crowning jewel of the Discovery lineup.

I'd be lying if I said it was all good, but the channel accomplished something that was (and is) rare in cable television: it could boast a lineup night after night that was interesting and more or less consistent with its mission, which was purportedly to promote science, nature and learning. Every one of those shows mentioned above fit into that mold. Cash Cab was basically a discovery version of Jeopardy!, but it fit nicely into that late afternoon time slot, going head to head with Alex Trebek (Jeopardy!) and Meredith Vieira (Who Wants to be a Millionaire?). The other programs were equal parts science and outdoor adventure. Planet Earth kept the tradition alive of nature-centered programming while taking the videography to new levels for television. Meanwhile, Mythbusters was hitting all the right notes, tapping into something that appealed to science-lovers, conspiracy theorists and everybody in-between. It was a glorious couple of years.

The cracks started to form in around 2008 when Survivorman left the airwaves while Man vs Wild went on. It was a symbolic move, even if the decision to stop airing Survivorman had more to do with the host, Les Stroud's health than it did with a marketing plan. Nonetheless, Man vs Wild betrayed some of the trouble that was coming with the Discovery Channel. Sensationalism began to seep in the cracks when science, nature and learning could no longer fit the bill.

Fast forward a few years and the only remnants of those glory days are Mythbusters, Deadliest Catch and a Shark Week in August that is so watered down with old material that it only lives in the shadow of what was once the best week of the year for television viewing bar none. These days you are much more likely to see some hot heads putting together motorcycles or yahoos off in the woods panning for gold or making moonshine than you are to see anything legitimately fun or educational. Mythbusters has lost a good deal of its steam--its ideas are tired and old--and Deadliest Catch is simply the same narrative played out year after year in different ways. I know, my wife LOVES that show, but even her enthusiasm has petered out. It's just not the same anymore.

The final straw was the announcement of a new show premiering Wednesday nights in December, Amish Mafia. Supposedly, the show is going to bring us into the secret world of crime underlying the peaceful Amish religion, but anybody who has seen the trajectory of the Discovery Channel over the last six years knows that this is a farce. There is no Amish mafia--at least not as the show will portray them. There are even hints of the lies in the advertisement, as certain scenes as labeled as "re-created" for the sake of viewers; read: actors have been hired to make up a story.

The odyssey is over, sad to say it. There are still some interesting shows. Curiosity was a brave and exciting attempt at bringing life into the scientific and intellectual vacuum the network had created, but it is buried so far under American Chopper, Gold Rush and Moonshiners that it's hard to even know where to find it. 

As for me, it has been a slow and steady move over to the History Channel. It's not perfect--let me tell you--and it's not even close to Discovery in its heyday, but it's all we've got for now. Anyway, I'll take Pawn Stars, Mankind: The Story of All of Us, Invention USA, I Love the 1880s, American Pickers, and the specials like WWII from Space over anything that Discovery has nowadays, and that's enough to forgive that History still shows Brad Meltzer's Decoded and Ancient Aliens from time to time. More importantly, the History Channel has a singular message that is consistent--even if sometimes strained. These shows are about history--what a novel idea!

So, it's been good, Discovery. Maybe someday you will come back around, and I'll be here waiting. Until then, I wish you only the best. Lord knows, with the lineup you have now, you need it. Here's hoping you discover that depth and breadth still mean something and catering to the least common denominator is not a plan for long-term success.