College Football: The True American Pastime

Amid more allegations of illegality in college football in the news, Beau and I had an interesting discussion on the drive up north today. We were talking about narratives in the lives of parishioners and I brought up sports, as one of the few remaining continuous narratives in American life, especially--but not only--among males. In sports, you have something clear to cheer for: a championship, a team; and a general sense of pride. The biggest thing about sports is that the objective is clear. A win is easy to define. Championships are visible goals to strive for, and every team can hope for a championship.

Well... not exactly. As we began to talk, I realized that college football is the exception to every rule in sports and has--in a strange and unfortunate way--taken on the character of American culture. Below is a sketch of the beliefs inherent in the college football mindset that set it apart and make it uniquely American.

Firstly, college football has redefined how champions are crowned. Instead of playoffs we have polls, computers and debate. That's right, debate, because in order to influence the voters you have to argue your case. The voters then have a say in who is the best team, and naturally the rest is left to computer programmers with virtually no oversight.

The working premise is that any team can still compete for the BCS championship if they A) play a tough enough schedule, B) win all (or nearly all) their games, and C) are a big school with lots of money.

You may say at this point, "Wait... why do they have to be a big school?" On the surface, the reason is that small schools (Boise State, TCU, Utah, and BYU for example) do not play a tough enough schedule to be considered one of the top two schools in the nation. A level deeper, however, the reason is that these schools can't play a hard enough schedule to be considered a top two school. There are two reasons for this: 1) they are mired in conferences with other smaller schools, which usually require around 8 league games. 2) their 3 non-conference opponents will not be top tier schools because these schools will never go to play against Boise or TCU or Utah, because the money is not there and because they have no reason to risk an early season loss.

In every other sport (or competitive exercise that I know of) every participant and team at the highest level has the opportunity at the beginning of the season to hope. They can hope because even if their team looks bad on paper, they could band together, win every game, and take home a championship. Not in college football.

So, why does the BCS still exist? A couple of reasons that are both quintessentially American: money and controversy. First, the controversy. ESPN and all media outlets love discussion; it fills up the programming, and what better than the BCS to dominate hours and hours of discussion! Suits sit behind desks talking as if they know what team deserves to play for a championship, and unlike every other sport in existence their opinions actually count! So, instead of young men wearing uniforms, we have old men wearing suits determining a championship.

Wait... but the championship game is still decided by a game, right?

Yes, sort of. It's determined partially by a game, and partially by schools constantly vacating national championships due to under-the-table deals. And who makes out on all of this? A few boosters, perhaps, but not the schools. The overwhelming winner is the BCS itself; read: more guys in suits. Guys who embezzle money. Guys who talk about "tradition" and "respect for the game" when they are simply seeing $$$.

So, yes, college football is the American pastime, but only insofar as it reflects all that is ugly in America. Personally, this is why I don't care. And I won't, except to cheer for every small school and every team that will break the BCS. Then, maybe I can care. Maybe. But sorry, you've lost me for now.