This is going to sound crass, so I'll just go ahead and apologize ahead of time, but here's the honest truth: I'd rather you didn't ask me to pray at public functions.
I had better explain that before the angry mail pours in. It's not because I don't think prayer is effective (in fact, I think the opposite), and it's also not because I don't like public prayer or think it is not the "right" kind of prayer (as if there is such a thing).
Instead, I don't like being asked to pray in public because public prayer has become the realm of the pastor to the exclusion of most other people in the church, which is a problem because public prayer also happens to be one of the easiest ways to be introduced into a life of prayer. When we act as if the pastor is the only one qualified to pray publicly we suggest that there is a threshold where lay prayer ends and ordained prayer begins, and that the pastor prays because he/she know all the right words and the rest of us can only be prayerful up to a point. Worse still, we suggest that there is a right way to pray aloud and a wrong way.
All of this is just wrong.
I understand that many people are afraid of public speaking, but, honestly, public prayer should be the easiest of all forms of public speaking because it is absolutely free in form. There need be no formula, no expectations--just humble words before God. You can say anything. For anybody who claims the Christian faith you should be able to come up with something to say; even if it's just "Thank you God for the food we are about to eat. Amen." Seriously, that's a GREAT prayer. And the fact that the majority of people in our churches don't feel comfortable with that is a symptom of a prayer problem.
And that gets at the real tragedy here. Prayer is most definitely a practice, and it's unfortunately a practice that too many people don't ever practice. They might think prayers and they might say prayers to themselves or when they are on their own, but they don't practice saying prayers in front of other people, which is an entry point into something much deeper and more mysterious. The prayer practices beyond public prayer are much more challenging--the part of prayer that involves silence and meditation and dwelling deeply in scripture. Most Christians don't even realize that area of prayer is accessible because they have never even practiced more basic ways of praying.
I feel like public occasions are perfect times for those who have never had much in the way of prayer practices to begin to practice prayer in one of its easier forms. The irony is that, once the nerves of public speaking wear off, the prayer part is actually very easy. The only ones who will ever judge what you say are ones who have not prayed themselves, and that is a perfect opportunity to invite them into the experience as well.
Most prayer actually is hard work because it involves give and take, listening to God and discerning difficult questions, but public prayer is just acknowledging thanks and asking for things that we need. That isn't hard work; it just takes a little bit of practice that I am denying you every time I pray in your place. It's not that I have prayer figured out (I don't), but if we ever got to the point where I am in need of more practice with public prayer than the lay members of my church I would be overjoyed. That would mean we have a very healthy prayer life indeed.
Maybe, by the grace of God, we may get there someday.
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